Montag, 2. November 2009

little monday blues

okay, so saturday evening i didn't go to the fast food place, but i did eat some other food that was available in my kitchen. My roommate was out, so this is why i got drunk (i wouldn't do it in front of her) and binged. I hate binging! I think I got triggered to binge on alkohol and food by the fact that I sat home on this saturday evening and had noone to go out with (the friend I wanted to go out with ditched me last mínute, because she was tired and had back pains). So I sat there while my roommate was going out with her friends and I was in such a bad mood because of it.
Yesterday went okay (despite the fact that I was still a little drunk all morning and my eyes were swollen) but I kept my calories in check as well as today.
Today so far, I had 1 orange and coffee, later I will cook with my roommate. We planned to have pasta and a salad. So for me that means just a little pasta and more of the salad. That will add up to approx. 500 calories for today.
This hole "cooking-together-with-my-roommate-thing" is a little annoying but I can handle it I think. As long as we decide together what we cook. As you may noticed I screwed over my intentional plan with the south beach diet. I have to pretend beeing "normal" in frnt of my roommate, whitch is why my new plan will be: Having just fruit and coffee throughout the day and then dinner with my roommate. With this plan I'll be under 800 calories a day plus I'll have no problems with my enviroment beeing suspicious about my eating habits.
This is really the worst thing for me, to have someone to know about my problems with food. I don't want anybody to know. I want to stay that confident person on the outside. I don't want anybody to see I'm vulnerable. However I'm having a lille of a blues today. The weather is f'ing bad toay, it has been raining all day and I'm tired and have been staying in bed all day.
But I have some good news. My roomate will be gone from wednesday over the week-end till monday. That means six days of freedom food wise. I'm thinking about a little fast. Six days, who is with me?
However stay strong girls and have a great evening!
Love y'all

ps. thank you blair for your sweet comment on my last post. It really meant a lot to me! Your words were cheering me up and making me feeling less bad about myself. So thank you so much and I'm glad you like my blog :)


  1. I'll do the six day fast along with you!...:)

  2. Hmm on second thought, this could just lead to major binging by me, never mind, not doing it. :(

    But you can do it.. i know you can!

  3. I'll definitely fast with you! As long as I can keep my coffee and splenda, that is :)

    As for your roommate, sometimes I think its address the problem before she even gets suspicious. I hate admitting my weight issues, but when people get shifty or ask things, I just laugh and tell them I'm doing Weight Watchers before the holidays. Everyone assumes weight watchers is healthy, this holiday diet thing is normal, and they stop questioning you. Also, it might help you pick seriously low-cal dinners to make with your roomie...

    PS. I'm so glad I was a little bit helpful. Stay strong and I'm checking in with you on day 1 of our fast! I've never gone 6 days before but I know we can do it.