So I've finished my fast yesterday. I was pretty proud of myself for finishing it and having the strength to do it. I had my ups and downs, I could not sleep very much throughout the week-end, which was fine for me, because I was working on a paper for school. So the fast overall went fine, I lost 7 pounds when I stepped on the scale monday morning.
Yesterday was the first time I ate something again. I don't know why but as soon as I had some food in my mouth my body was like screaming for more. To cut the long story short, I had a huge (!) binge, which was like hell for my stomach, it was hurting so bad and in the end I was throwing up like without even trying. It was just horrible and I am so much ashamed for myself. I'm gaining all the weight back, I don't want to think about it. And the most terrible thing is that I was in such a binge mode that I binged again this morning, when my roommate was at school. The good thing about having a roommate now is that I can not binge in front of her. So when she's home I can not binge. I would have kept binging all day if she wasn't there, I bet. So I actually had a healthy meal for dinner with her: salad and grilled chicken.
I am returning to my old plan, fruits and veggies throughout the day and a small dinner with my roomie at night. I am also thinking about taking some dance classes, but I am not sure wether I have the courage or not, to show up at one of those classes. Dance classes are the one thing that I wanted to do for a long time. Particularly ballet classes. But I honestly feel too fat and I am too ashamed of my body for taking such a class.
Well I hope to cheer you up with some better news later this week, when I hopefully didn't gained all weight back from my binging... :( ...
It's about looking forward, right?
take care my lovely readers,