Montag, 2. Mai 2011

Hiding from my issues

Hello readers,

I've not been updating because I was doing so terrible lately.
My vacation to Amsterdam was good and bad. I was travelling with a group of friend that I didn't know much besides one of them. And I had a problem with her during that time or rather she was ignoring me the hole time, which wasn't a nice feeling. Afterwards she was confronting me with a lot of things that she was criticising about me. Wasn't a nice feeling either, I felt very betrayed. If you hate me that much why are you my friend then?!? I don't know where this leaves our friendship, we haven't had much contact lately. But I'm rambling.
I am back from my parent's house since yesterday where I spent the easter hollidays. I am back in my dark little cave, where I am not doing much besides laying on the sofa and crying. I am back in my depressed little world. I feel very stuck..
After a week of my family around me I am back to my quiet loney life.
I feel lost again. At the beginning of a crossroad without knowing where to go. Which road to choose. Climbing back into my dark cave, a tomb where my mind is confined.
I am hating this. I hate to be depressed but I can't get myself out of here.
I am planning to fast again.
I'll clean out my fridge today. I need to buy water though.
I am gonna start tomorrow by doing a rice day.
I'll keep you posted.

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