i lost my life

Had a binge yesterday night.
My roommate was sleeping and i got up to make pasta.
I hate myself very much right now, I can not bear to get out of bed.
I can not bear to open the window curtains.
I want to stay here in the darkness where i feel secure.

I lost my live, I will lose my life, I can not stay in bed all day.
I already did too much damage to my life.
I am a failure.