Donnerstag, 22. Juli 2010

this morning I woke up before my alarm clock

The last weeks were very stressful. Last monday I had a breakdown and wanted to kill myself.
Then I was angry at myself for thinking of suicide. I can only speak for myself here, but for me, thinking about suicide is selfish and self centered. I felt very overwhelmed by a lot of things that are going on in my life right now.
But I can not be that selfish and hurt the people who care about me very much.

On another note, my eating habits were pretty much out of control, but I am getting back on track.
Starting to work out again is helping me the most, especially because feeling the pain of my working muscles is kind of replacing the need to fill my stomach until it hurts (not all the time but still..).

I feel like I need a new eating plan. I'm thinking about fruit in the morning and one meal in the afternoon. Maybe a yogurt in between. 1000 calories max. should make it easier for me to not binge.

I am also thinking about going a fruit fast, which I am really excited about. I want to do a watermelon fast, nothing but watermelon and water. Who wants to join me on the watermelon fast? I am thinking about starting next week..


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