I did promise to update sooner, but life is not always as planable as my meal plans. I did really good until yesterday. I stood in the supermarket and couldn't resist to buy that chocolate and a package of chips. My mind was rushing as I stood there, I litterally had the chips in my hand for about 5 minutes, because I could't decide weather to buy them or not. I felt like people were already staring at me, wondering what I was doing. I sort of always feel like people are judging me while I'm grocery shopping. And it is so time consuming. I'll go through the aisles, picking up packages, putting them away, picking them up again..rushing through the sweet section just to be there again 5 minutes later, staring at the candy.
But back to yesterday.. I obviously bought the chocolate and also the chips and I finished all of it the same night. All of my hard work of the last week..undone! I was crying later in the shower, after throwing up as quiently as could, so my roommate wouldn't notice (and in my appartment, I can hear my roommate having sex with her bf, while I'm in the bathroom - very disturbing, freaks me out every time). Anyways, today I couldn't get out of bed, it is 4 pm and I haven't eaten anything, I had just a little orange juice (about 34 cal) and water. I am very much depressed today, but writing about it helps a little. I'm supposed to visit my parents today but I just can't. I can not face the outside world today, it is just too much. I just don't know how to go on with life. I am incapable of taking care of myself. I am incapable of accomplishing anything. Where do I go?