I'm just not gonna eat tomorrow..

I am done with trying.
I don't want to try anymore.
I want to do and be.
doing and being
doing and being
doing and being..

intake so far:
orange juice 30 cal
banana 86 cal

Eastern is coming up and i seriously just wanna kill myself.
All the chocolates, cake, eastern bread, eggs..
Eastern literally became all about food and eating in my family.
Check this "menu" plan:
11 am: easter brunch
3 pm: cake and coffee
8 pm: barbecue
This is not an invitation for myself but for mia.
My family doesn't want me anymore, they want mia to sit on their table, stuffing her face with food, sneaking out to the toilet afterwards.
How am I gonna survive this without giving into my bingeing behaviors??
A part of me just wants to be sick during eastern.