Day #4 and #5

Hey girlies,
how are ya?
I am totally estatic, even though I have to attent to a birthday party of a friend tomorrow night.
I don't know, i feel like I'm high or something and I can assure you I didn't take anything, nether smoked nor did anyone put something in my drink :)
After feeling completly shitty yesterday, today was just an awsome day.
Nothing special even happened. I am just in a good mood.
I going on the scale tomorrow mornig and I hope I lost another few pounds. It feels like I did but we'll see.
Maybe there will be a guy that I like at the party tomorrow. I don't know, thinking about it makes me really nervous. I'd be happy if he would be there, I really would like to talk to him and get to know him better. He seems like a really nice and genuine guy, who treats women with respect (I did meet enough of the opposite in the past). But I frankly don't think he'll like me, because I am so fat still and I just feel so monstrous besindes my thin friends. I feel like I am never gonna find a guy who I like and who likes me back. I seem to attract only men who are disgusting and assholes (I'm sorry for my bad language).
Ugh..now I am in a bad mood again..why did I started to think about that..why?!?
Positive..think positive sila!
phhh..okay, I'm taking a deep breath...
sorry I am an idiot..
who is going to read my stupid ramblings?
okay I gonna end this pointless post.
I hope you guys are doing good, forgive me my moodiness.
xoxo