binge drinking and binge eating - story of my life

I am not very well at the moment.
Even though I am meditating and praying and doing a lot of yoga. It seems like it is not working.
Sometimes I feel like my lonelyness is killing me.
I am drinking too much. It starts of with "ah, I am gonna have a glass of whine to calm down." and then I drink the whole bottle. And then I start to eat. I eat and eat and eat. Can't stop. Eat more.
It is a f*ing vicious cycle.
I've been so good during the day. Haven't eaten much and what I ate was healthy.
Now I ruined it. Again.
I am never going to be thin, because I can not get my act together.

I am not sure how this is gonna stop.

I am going to sleep now. I am tired.